Reduce, Reuse, Recycle!

After very little thought, I've decided to recycle my virginity.

I know, it sounds so fucking stupid it hurts a little, but I think whomever I end up doing it for will actually appreciate it. I think the next girl I sleep with will actually mean something again, which will be nice.

I can't believe I'm actually doing it though, what used to be a source of pride (As it is for most men,) has become a burden and a side of myself I'm more than a little ashamed of. High School was crazy, I can't count how many times I got so unbearably lucky and wound up in bed with girls as beautiful and gorgeous as I did; there was even a few occasions with more then one girl at once. However, after my run in with my Blond Angel and the stage fright and the confusion that followed, it's definitely time to slow down and wait for someone special again.

I can't believe how much insight Evelyn managed to show over the course of our relationship, she predicted this more accurately then I could have ever imagined. I remember her telling me I'd regret my dirty past at some point, whether it be through some sort of disease or just having to tell someone I care about who and what I've done, and I also remember laughing at her then. I've always been careful with my screening of girls (For the most part...) and as a male, it's natural to brag about sexual conquests. I never thought I might become ashamed of it all, I never imagined it coming back to haunt me as much as it is now. All posts under the title "Lusting for Alpha Male" have earned me a permanent and cosy spot in shallow mans hell.
(Haha, fat chicks and gay guys always wanting to talk...)

How I figure I'll do the so called 'recycling' is pretty simple.
-No porn
-No masturbation
-Obviously no fooling around until I find a certain someone who actually gives a damn about me that I care for.

Sure, it's nothing huge, but hopefully someone will appreciate it. I'm not going to claim I am one, I'm not going to hide from my conceded past, but I will do my best to try and reshape my future and live a life that's not so fucking stupid and shallow.

Now I just need to find that 'special' someone. Bummer.

Next time I'm going to try and describe the wicked tattoo idea I nearly went out and got on a whim.