Fuck, just juice me.

A lull again, the downwards part of the wave we ride.

I've had a severe lack of energy these last few weeks, preventing me from doing much asides get wasted and work a few hours a day so I can tick off the day as a win. I haven't been going to the gym nearly enough and I can already feel the addictive impulse shredding my muscles. I feel fat, obese, whale-ish. It's so fucking stupid, I hate having to "write out" my feelings on it to make me feel just a little better.

As I said earlier I've noticed a slide in progress; a noticeable dip in my bodies progression to what I want, so because of it I don't have any positives to focus on, so I continue to ride myself on all the negatives. I'm really not 'fat', maybe at worst a little flabby around the stomach but it's all I can see. It's like it obscures the rest of my body.

I've kept at partying, lack of interest in sexual conquests has slowed things down a little and I think I'll lay off the bottle until Cinco De Mayo at least. I'm spending way too much on booze when I'm unemployed anyways.

I really want to be in shape for summer. It's a realistic goal I set for myself last summer that I convinced myself I had achieved, but this time I really want to just fucking nail it. I think I may have to get my thyroid checked again, it's already basically failed once so maybe I should look into it. No matter how well I sleep (Which is never THAT great,) or how well I eat I still feel like I just dragged my ass out of bed six hours too early.

I wonder if people that get liposuction brag about it.