Remind me, why am I doing this?

I am just batting a million.

So I moved out of my house, my parents house mind you, so I could go to school. After I had signed the lease for my house, school said no. After I got here, I tried to go to the college to upgrade so I could eventually go to University. They're in the process of saying no.

So I'm in a foreign city without the purpose I came here to fulfill.

Yes, the obvious fucking answer is get a job. I just doubt my skills. Everyone asks "What can you do?" and I have to give them a resume I feel like is smeared with lies for things that already look pathetic. But what does this solve?

This let's me live and be able to "enjoy" my time here. However, me enjoying my time here will consist of drinking and potentially womanizing if I ever work the sack up to do it. Which is what I was secretly trying to get away from, I just wanted to study and let my life take it's course.

So I'm fucked. I don't know what to do. All I can do is stick it out.

I'm so lonely already. Both my roommates speak different languages so when ones on the phone with his parents in India, the other is on Facebook speaking Spanish to his friends. I'm out of the loop everywhere I look.

Even if I get a job and start having fun, it's just another detour from where I need to get. It feels like no matter what I do, it's all poisonous.

I have to get something out of this. I need something to hold onto.

Forces of the Universe, I'm yours. I sweated it out all last year and now I'm starting the year exactly the same. Nightmare filled sleep, a constant knot of incomprehensible stress lining my stomach, and a cloud that just shits out bad luck or karma. I'm not sure which.

Help.