Holy fucking new wave of insecurities.

Alright, for once I'm actually looking for feedback here.

All through high school I rode on the fact that I thought I was a good looking dude. Even when I was at my heaviest pushing 205lbs I had a caring girl to back up the fact I was a good looking guy, so I never thought twice about it.

All of a sudden it's really starting to kick me in the sack that I'm really not all that fabulous.

Whenever I go out to the bars I never end up flirting with the girl I want for very long usually because she turns me down pretty quickly. In class, nobody wants to sit by me; and if they do they really don't want to talk. I have a hard time striking any sort of conversation with people. Whenever I meet someone that has any sort of potential they always turn me down whenever we meet in person or they get a good look at me.

Jesus. Am I ugly?

All of this is stirking me in waves, suddenly my confidence is taking another major dip in the ladies department. Sure, striking out once in awhile is no biggie but every time you go for anything? Not a good sign.

Oh right. And there's the fact that I've been single for more than a year and a half now.

Yes, I got turned away today because I'm an "Asshole" in person, but that's just how I am. I take shots at people and expect them to do the same to me, it's how I am. I am a sincere guy, and I have lots of wonderful special amazing talents and charm.

I'm only really trying to convince myself at this point. I really don't know where I'm going with this.

I need friends who have connections in this damn city. I need to stop feeling so worthless and nothing more than another person you walk by everyday.