Horseshoes for Toilet Paper.

So here I am.

I'm sitting in my kitchen close to midnight writing about my woes. Again.

University said fuck off, I need better Grades. Why didn't I have said grades? I was skipping school for the fun and rebellion of it. I'm stuck with a place in a foreign city with nobody I know, no job or school, and only several days to plan it all because I left everything to the last minute.

There's really no excuses anymore. Where I am today, my looks, my intelligence, my way of living, life choices and self image are of no direct fault to anyone else.

I am a spoiled Western Hemisphere child with nowhere to go because I squandered my talents and opportunities. It is nobody elses fault. I am 100% to blame because I am lazy and took the easy avenue out whenever I saw it.

I see the people around me out having fun, living life and enjoying everything they have. Their hard work in High School paid off and they're in school having a blast, enjoying all there is to enjoy that they earned. I can see this from my vantage point in the gutters.

I have to look at this like some sort of opportunity, to finally turn my shit around and make something work on my own. It is like a fresh start, but I'm not going in with the right mindset right now. I feel confused, beleaguered and out of my league already.

This ride is ending, my luck is finally spent and I'm stuck at a crossroads looking at the forks I have to take.

Where the fuck am I going to end up?

You can have it all, I ain't got the heart to fight total exhaustion; complete breakdown. For the asshole I am, apologies in full. Please, leave me alone. Pull over the van; let me out.